Losing myself

Yesterday on the road from Huntsville to Carmine I finally began to talk to myself again. I really missed talking to myself and this was a way for me to help understand the new scenery around me. Texas had changed very quickly from forests and lakes to grasslands and ranches and I think it was the scenery that made me want to talk again. Because if you look at the same thing over and over your mind just gets numb to your surroundings. I do enjoy talking to myself but sometimes it just isn't of high priority. 

One of the things that I thought about a lot yesterday was this idea this concept of losing myself. It's something that a lot of people talk about when they go on journeys like this. Like to lose yourself only to find yourself again, this idea of self discovery in this mystical adventure. I think people interpret that as going crazy and just detract yourself from everyone you know, basically kind of a parody of Castaway. I don't believe that to be the case and I think I can lose myself in pretty safe parameters like yesterday. I kind of just relaxed even though I was going up the steep elongated hills with exhaustion; I was calm I was poised and I experienced some euphoria in this new beautiful scenery. And I do experience strong emotions when I talk to myself and no offense to anyone that chooses to ride with me, but I feel that I am at my best on these sorts of adventures when I'm by myself. I feel this ability to fully express who I am at my best and at my worst and that's the idea of the trip, is to get the good the bad and the ugly and I really like seeing the ugly because you don't see the ugly all the time especially when you're around people. I just think that this trip has more dimensions than even I can fathom and even people who've done this before have fathome.d There, not to sound too corny, but there are these intangible dimensions to the trip. And that's really why I think I am enjoying this.